Blue Like You

Archive for August 2nd, 2007

In keeping with my “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” theme, I am very pleased to see how difficult it is to actually prosecute polygamy in Canada. In fact, the law is virtually unenforceable.

The Nation has no business in anyone’s bedroom, right?

Why not concentrate on something more important, like banning handguns again or something? Let people live their lives in peace. If young teenage girls want to have sex with older men, whose business is it anyway?

“There’s no evidence of exploitation,” Oppal said. “In fact, it was surprising to me the number of young women who told police that they were the aggressors, that they wanted to have sex with the older men.”

Yes, and just remember - Religious freedom trumps everything - unless some bigger special interest group complains.

Oh, man. This is so much fun! I love being a leftie.

Now I’ve seen it all.

I used to laugh at people who point to climate change as the cause for any weather event at all. However, now it seems that global warming is also responsible for excess copulation among some animals; especially felines.

According to the National Post, cats like it hot:

“Cats are now copulating in February, which is supposed to be a really cold month,” Mr. Oliver said.

“But animals are getting out because it’s relatively warm. Their internal signals seem to be telling them that it is time to mate because the warm weather’s coming, and so we’re seeing an earlier litter.”

Apparently this is now causing an explosion in the cat population.

I have to ask a couple of questions here - Just how are those cats “getting out”? Do they open the door and sneak out when Master is having a snooze?

And why haven’t the owners thought of ‘fixing’ the problem in a permanent fashion.

The article then goes on to cite other issues such as an increase in seal population due to the heat forcing female seals to search further afield for water, and straight into temptation.

But I thought seals were endangered? Didn’t Paul McCartney and his ex try to tell us that? And what’s wrong with more seals anyway?

Finally, we are told that there is a dearth of good quality prostitutes in Bulgaria because all the ‘elite’ ones have fled to the ski hills to help relieve the frustration of skiers who can’t find any snow - all due to global warming.

You see what’s happening here? We can now abdicate any responsibility for our actions and instead blame it on climate change.

This gun, officer? Well global warming is making me crazy, and I needed it to be able to get that Slushie. I couldn’t work because of the heat. So I have no money, but it’s not my fault… I can’t sleep at night because of the heat. And they should have put some swimming pools in my neighbourhood anyway. I am a Global Warming victim!

This is your permanent “Get out of jail free” card.